I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
