Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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