last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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