Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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