i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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