I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
