dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
