It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize