I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
