ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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