Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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