well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
