Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
