it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
