Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
