New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
