how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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