just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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