I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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