I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
