I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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