i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
