ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
