i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
