Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
