Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
