My room smells like vodka and shame
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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