Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
