Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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