I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
