I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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