Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
