there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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