Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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