forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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