Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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