his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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