I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize