yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm passing your future prison.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
