I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize