I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
