I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
