Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize