dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
