what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Moan for me like Helen Keller
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
