Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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