Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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