the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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