And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
