omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Even my vagina gasped.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
