I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
