butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
