Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
