I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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