He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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