Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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