How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize