Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
