my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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